This Is My Life
the strife and the torture of the anticipation
awaiting that one second when your life may change
but what are we truly waiting for
is life worth the moments that we think they may be
is life truly meaningful or is it just there
why do i feel like i am just a number
a number in a statistic of population
we are all herds of cattle just i am the one with the brand
as i watch everyone i lay on the street
people stepping and walking all over me
each one leaves a print on my feeble body
a marking, this is my brand
each little line is a scar on my life
what i would do to lose these scars
but these scars will plague my life for eternity
is there no way to relieve this pain
no there is not
yet i still add more scars
and i dont get off the sidewalk as the shoes walk upon me
i can only take so much
but i will never get up
im not allowed to get up
something holds me down and i cant control it
no one truly cares for the pain they put me through
fore some people step harder than others
what i would do to stand up
to walk among the masses
wishes that will not be fulfilled
i will take these scars to the grave
although i do not fear the grave
it just holds an inevitable place in my life
i see it in the future yet why worry
although i do not fear death i do not wish it
but why does all this pain happen to me
and why does everyone cause it and not show concern
does no one look down before they walk
do they not see me there weeping
and when they see me there why do they stand on me and march
is this what my life is cut out for
to be a place mat for everyone to wash off their feet
is this the fate that i chose
well i dont want it and i wont take it
but i have no choice
and please do me a favor
next time u walk avoid me so i can stand up
fore i will not be happy until i stand
so when you are laying on the side walk i will reach out
so u can feel happiness
the feeling i strive for yet i cant see it
i do not believe this feeling exists
for life keeps shitting on me and i fall deeper and deeper
with no ladder and not even a hand to help me up
i do not even see eyes above the whole with any concern its just passed by
yet again i am a statistic
i have no existance
so why try, why think, why feel
all the traits that make me exist i do not want
for all they cause is pain
but is this not what also causes us to exist
if pain is what i have to live for i shall live
but happiness is an impossible quest
i am not a quiter but i give up when i am defeated
my quest is over towards finding happiness
why look anymore if it does not exist
and i shall remain on the sidewalk
as shoes brand my body
people walk on me causing tears of pain and suffering
they do not see this for lack of existance
ive found my lifes purpose
and what i have to live for is not worth the time yet i will accept the task
crying and screaming yet remaining unheard
this is my life and this is how i live
-Johnny Butt Michiels
